Morning Light: La Lumière du Matin
by IndiaIdania
Summary: The love story that brought the Cullen family together. When you have no hope, and you've failed at everything you've put your heart into, where do you turn? Into the cold arms of an angel.
1. Prologue

IndiaIdania

Carlisle et Esme

Morning Light

La Lumière du Matin

Prologue

January 26, 2009

Prologue

Since I am half French, I am not very tall, but I do have nice curves, pale skin, and caramel colored hair. My eyes are hazel like my father's, but for the most part I look just like my mother. My name is Esme Anne Platt. My father named me because my mother was so weak after she had me. The doctors assumed that she wouldn't last a week, but she did. My mother has always been a strong woman.

My father's family was English and had immigrated in the late 1700s; my father's family had never been able to gain a high social status because his father would drink and gamble more than half his wages away at the town saloon. He was smart enough to set aside a little to feed his family and clothe them properly; but other than that, the money supplied his gambling and alcohol.

My mother was from Le Havre, France. She was from a wealthy, but abusive family. Le Havre is in the north of France and is a major port. She was tired of being abused and fled on a cruise ship to the United States. Her name is Angelique Mercier. She spoke broken English and somehow found her way to my father.

My parents were not cruel and truly loved and valued me. I was their only child. Unlike most of the girls my age, I wasn't looked upon as a piece of property to be used as a link to higher social status. Most of my friends' parents had stretched their resources to dress their eldest daughters up as elaborately as they could to flaunt them under the men belonging to the upper class hoping they would acquire an advantageous marriage mainly benefiting the parents. Giving them connections… When you're a lower middle class girl in the 1930s, that's what your life revolves around… trying to catch the eye of a rich man to make him want you and pay your parents a considerable amount of money for your hand. Slowly, my friends began to attract husbands, and I began to see less and less of them, until the only time I saw them was when I was running errands and saw one of them get into a fancy chaise. Of course my parents had never treated me in that fashion. I didn't want my friends to think that I was bragging, so I never told them how my father and mother looked at me in different ways than the other parents had. I knew I was adored by my father and loved by my mother. I wasn't afraid of being practically sold for my family to gain connections to high society. I was content with my life. I only hoped that someday I would find a man to love me as much as my father loved my mother. He never hit or talked down to her. When he would come in from working he would always cradle her head in right hand and kiss her tenderly on her forehead and then stroke her cheek once with his thumb. It wasn't a passionate kiss or embrace, but it said more than if he would have.

Shortly after I turned thirteen I became a woman. I was so proud of myself. Looking back I'm not sure why. I think it was because all the other girls my age had began bleeding when they were twelve; a few had began at the age of eleven. My body began to fill out quickly after. My thin face filled out and took on a heart-shape. My bust filled out nicely; not overly big, but I was proud of my definite cleavage. My waist curved inward and my hips rounded nicely. I wasn't vain about my looks, but I was confident. When I turned fifteen my father lost his job. He began to search for any jobs he could find. He worked a few short term occupations like building a fence for Mr. Chapman, or grooming Mrs. Louis' yard while her gardener was sick. Slowly our supplies were dwindling. My mother worked for a seamstress for a while before she was accused of stealing some of the finer fabrics Mrs. Louis had imported from France. I didn't know how long this would go on, and I felt a change coming.

One day in the beginning of August my father and mother approached me. I was sitting at the table trying to finish a dress that I was embroidering for Sunday. My father's gaze was detached as he sat down beside me, and told me that I shouldn't be frightened. As soon as he said that, I was. He began to explain that he had tried his best to support my mother and me, and give us a comfortable home, but he wasn't able to support all of us now. He tried to explain that he never wanted to resort to this type of behavior, but he had no choice. In the end, it would be best for me to marry. I sucked in my breath and became lightheaded. _Oh, no! _I though, _I'm not ready to be a wife. I'm afraid. What if he forces me to bed with him like the man Emma had married? What if he is cruel and hits me like Mary's husband?_ As if he was reading my mind, he quickly assured me that the man he had chosen was a gentleman. He wasn't very wealthy, but he had built a nice farm for himself in the country. I was to be married on Sunday. I looked down at the dress I was embroidering. It would be my wedding dress. As my parents embraced me, I let a tear stream down my face. _What would become of me?_


	2. First Sight

Recap: _He wasn't very wealthy, but he had built a nice farm for himself in the country. I was to be married on Sunday. I looked down at the dress I was embroidering. It would be my wedding dress. As my parents embraced me, I let a tear stream down my face. __What would become of me?_

**Ok, so the Prologue was originally part of the first chapter. Oh, and I know most of this is cheesy, oh well. I don't have a Beta yet, so if there are mistakes please notify me or just ignore them___. _This is my first fanfic, so please don't expect perfection. Thank you for reading, reviews are appreciated. Merci!** **~IndiaIdania**

IndiaIdania

Carlisle et Esme

Morning Light

La Lumière du Matin

Chapter One

January 26, 2009

First Sight

My husband was never abusive and we got along, but I can't say that I truly loved him. Our marriage had been arranged. My parents had been on the brink of poverty, and my father wanted to marry me off, so he would know that I would have my needs met. His name was Charles Emerson. He was not very handsome, but he was gentle. He didn't speak very much to me, but he would smile at me as he walked out of the door to tend to his … our… farm. He had not touched me yet. He was very shy when it came to intimacy, but that didn't upset me. I didn't think of him that way. I began to think of it more often now because I was twenty, and we didn't have any children. My desire for a child steadily grew stronger as I watched my former friends carry their cherub cheeked toddlers into hat boutiques on my rare visits to my family in town. My father's and mother's health was fading. I spent long hours trying to nurse them back to health, and spent the allowance Charles would give me every month on doctors and the tonics they would prescribe. Nothing seemed to improve them. I knew I would lose them soon. Who would I have to love? Who would love me? Charles, even though he was kind, was not interested in love. His farm was his lover and wife. If he had ever opened up, then possibly we would have grown to love each other.

_**One Year Later**_

As worry of the U.S. joining the Great War frightened and loomed over the heads of the American citizens, the young men became more and more excited. They wanted nothing more than to defend their country. President Wilson had already declared war on Germany in April, and if Austria-Hungary didn't sign a peace treaty with the United States, he would declare war on them as well. So far Austria-Hungary remained loyal to Germany. If that happened, a draft would be instated. Charles told me during the summer that if he was drafted he would send me to his brother's home in Wisconsin.

After my parents died in January, I began volunteering at the hospital feeding invalids and washing soiled bed linens. Later I began to nurse the children there as well. I enjoyed interacting with the children especially. Taking care of them and just being around them helped to coax with the pain of loosing the only people I truly loved, and loved me. I tried to avoid the elderly patients after an elderly man that I had been assigned suffered a seizure after I fed him. He died right in front of me. There had been nothing I could do, just as with my parents. I tried everything, and they still slipped away. Almost all the children that came into the hospital mostly had broken bones or needed various surgeries. Very few were lost. I had very little to entertain myself with at the farm; and as I said, I enjoyed keeping the children company. After I had finished the washing, I would go and read to a little boy named Andrew. He was suffering from Cholera. A young doctor, who worked a night shift, was treating him intravenously. I had never seen the doctor, but I had heard of how all of his patients always recovered. It made me wish I would have known of him when my parents had still been alive. Maybe he could have saved them. Why couldn't I have saved them?

I wish I was able to say that my humanitarian efforts had only been motivated by selflessness and a desire to serve others. After my parents passed, Charles began to change. He had been on edge since the United States declared war on Germany. He would storm around the house mumbling things about not leaving his farm and "damn those bloody Germans." I wasn't used to this kind of behavior, and it frightened me a little. One December evening as we sat down to dinner, Charles announced that he had been drafted. At first I felt relieved, then embarrassed for feeling that way. Hadn't Charles given me a comfortable home, fed and clothed me? Why would I feel relieved that he would be put in a place where he could very possibly be killed? I looked across the table at his troubled face. I instantly got up and walked across to him. "I'm so sorry, Charles." What was there to say? I hardly knew him. We rarely spoke to each other, other than the usual "Good morning, breakfast is ready, Charles."

"Thank you Anne."

"Are you ready for supper, Charles?"

"Ah, smells good."

"How was your day, Charles?"

"Chickens are laying."

"Oh, that's good, omelets for breakfast tomorrow." I always started and ended the conversation. It didn't vary much. It was like reciting lines for a play. We never had any other type of relationship. It suddenly occurred to me that he may have married me for my cooking expertise, and that wasn't saying much. There really wasn't any other explanation. We certainly had never been intimate. We didn't even sleep on the same floor, much less the same room.

He started up at me, and furrowed his eyebrows. "Anne… something has been bothering me of late." His eyes slid from my mouth and focused on my collarbone. He wouldn't call me Esme; he wasn't fond of the French. I waited. Would he send me to Wisconsin?

"Anne, I'm not going to force you," I think his words came out a little louder than he wanted them to, my body felt like I had been electrocuted, like when you realize that you've been caught for something you though you had gotten away with.

"I don't know what you mean Charles," Oh, but I did.

"Anne, I'm being sent to Germany." Oh heavens, that was in the heart of the battle. "I want to leave our farm to an heir; I don't need my brother trying to take over my property. You may stay here; I won't send you anywhere. There is enough money in the bank to pay the farmhands I'll hire before I leave until our son is old enough to do it himself." _Our son. He doesn't think he'll be coming back…_

"Charles, you shouldn't think that way." I tried to comfort him, as he rose from the table and walked to his bedroom door.

"Anne, I'm being sent to Berlin."

The kitchen was clean, and I sat on the edge of my bed. _Should I tell him that I am ready?_ _Because I am certainly not… Will it hurt very much? Will he love me because I will be carrying his child? Where did that come from? Sex doesn't equal love. I had seen it with almost all of my friends and their husbands. In their cases it seemed to equal the opposite. How do I lay with him when I don't even love him like that? Does this mean I'm a whore? No, of course not!... I am his wife… It's expected. Everyone probably thinks I can't have children by how long we've waited… I hope it doesn't take very long. I'm going to die of humiliation. How awkward and embarrassing!!! What if I see him? What if he wants me to take my blouse and bra off? Surely not. This is only for an heir._

"Anne." I looked up, and he was in my doorway. His face was crimson. _Please be quick._

I decided to stay late at the hospital the next day. I didn't want to endure that humiliation again. Maybe he would be asleep when I got home. I sat down in a chair next to Andrew's bed and began to read The Legend of Sleepy Hollow. Why did this child want me to read a horror story to him? If it made him happy, then one ghost story wouldn't hurt him. The sun began to set, but I ignored it. I would finish the story first. There was a knock at the door that made Andrew jump. Maybe the story was too much for him. "Excuse me, Madame." _Oh. _I turned to look at the doctor. My breath caught. _He's so handsome…_ I blushed, but didn't look away. _I'm staring; he's going to think I'm incoherent. _"I don't mean to interrupt, but may I have a look at my patient?" He smiled warmly and held out his hand. "My name is Dr. Cullen," he bent to my level and took my hand.

"Esme," I breathed. I mentally shook myself, and sat up straighter. "Mrs. Esme Emerson."

"Enchanté, Madame," he said looking me straight in the eye and kissed my hand. It burned where his icy lips had been. It must be colder outside then I had thought. He straightened up, and continued. "It's getting late; shouldn't you be home with your husband?" As if on cue Charles entered the room.

"Anne, why are you still here? Does the car not want to start?"

"Sorry, I lost track of the time."

"Dr."

"Mr. Emerson. Goodnight, Mrs. Emerson."

"Goodnight, Dr. Cullen."

Charles led me to the car. Had he walked from the farm? I used the car to go to and from the hospital each day. Charles normally stayed at the farm all day. When he needed it, I made plans to stay home and clean the house, or catch up on the ever-growing pile of things to be mended. "Phil gave me a ride, when you weren't home for supper," he shrugged before I could ask. Phil was a neighboring farmer. The drive home was comfortably silent, as always. He looked straight ahead, and gripped the wheel tightly. He was so tense. I could tell that we would be trying again tonight. It would happen nearly the same as the first night, except that I would understand that I was to remove my dress and get into the bed under the covers while he turned around and removed his trousers.

He had led me to his room; I was so grateful that it hadn't happened in my bed. I wouldn't be able to sleep there anymore if it would have. I stood in the center of the room beside his bed and waited for him. I had no clue how to do this. I understood that the husband usually undressed the wife. I waited patiently for him to get it over with. He had been facing the door for a long two minutes. Was he trying to compose himself? His hesitation was shaking my own resolve that I had built up, just a few minutes earlier in my bedroom. "Are you ready, Anne?" he said to the door.

"Yes, Charles," I replied my voice still held its resolve. He turned around. He took me in and frowned.

"Please, Anne, don't be difficult."

"I don't know what you mean, Charles. What do you want me to do?" my voice faltered on the last sentence.

"Take off your dress and get under the covers," he ordered, but his face was cherry red. He turned around again, and I did what he said. I stared at the ceiling while I waited for him. He sat on the edge of the bed and scooted under the covers, careful not to uncover me. I was still wearing my bra, camisole, and panties. He looked at my face once before getting on top of me. His weight crushed my lungs at first, but he soon lifted off of me as soon as he registered the contact. Though my lungs were grateful, I couldn't help but wonder if physical contact with me disgusted him. _Please just get it over with_, I pleaded in my head over and over again. While he hovered above me, he fumbled with my panties trying to get them over my hips. I lifted myself only a fraction so that I wouldn't touch him either. Once my panties were off, he stared into my face, not particularly my eyes, but in their general direction. I nodded slightly. He entered me suddenly, the searing pain almost caused me to scream, but I clenched my teeth so hard my jaw began to ache. Thankfully, it didn't last long. As soon as he was finished I wrapped myself in a sheet, took my dress and panties and went back to my room. After throwing up and lying down for a while, hoping the soreness would go away, I decided to take a hot bath. The bath calmed my muscles and washed away the bloody mess on my inner thighs that had been too sore to touch. I cried myself to sleep that night, as I would tonight and the next few nights until Charles left for Germany.


	3. Open Book

**Thank you to those who marked this story as a favorite or added me as a favorite author! Special thanks to those of you who take your time to review! I love to know what you think. You can expect one chapter a week. I'm sorry if I skip a week; I do have a life. As of now, I do my own editing, so I'm sorry if there are any mistakes. As always, enjoy!!**

**~IndiaIdania**

IndiaIdania

Carlisle et Esme

Morning Light

La Lumière du Matin

Chapter Two

Open Book

Charles had been given a month to prepare his farm before he left for the army. Two weeks had passed since he had gotten his official letter. I began to read stories in the newspapers of the bloody sieges on Belgium and France. The descriptions were horrid and disgusting. Pictures of bandaged men with an arm or leg severed gave me nightmares. I dreamed of Charles in battle. Sometimes my dreams were so vivid that I would wake up and muffle my screams with my pillow. That was when I realized that though I didn't have romantic feelings for Charles, I did love him in a way. I cared about his safety, and his dream of having a plantation that he could pass on to his son, and later to his grandson after he passed. The Monday before he was to leave I made my mind up; I would try my best to raise our son, and make his dream come true. I didn't know if I was pregnant yet, but I would see a doctor, and try my best to make sure we conceived a child.

The following day I made an appointment at the hospital to see Dr. Greyson. He was one of the only doctors that hadn't joined the military to offer their services to injured soldiers. As far as I knew Dr. Greyson and Dr. Cullen were the only available doctors in Columbus. Of course, Dr. Cullen covered the night shift because I never saw him during the day. I hadn't told Charles what I was up to of course because he was sure to tell me "No." It would have been very embarrassing for him to explain his sexual life to a doctor. During the day he acted like I was just his "cook and clean for him wife." He made no mention of what we did every night. I wasn't sure exactly why this bothered me, but I think it had to do with the nagging voice in my head that would whisper "he's just using you."

I drove the car very cautiously on my way to the hospital because it was raining so hard. The clouds were so dark that they resembled the burnt coals in out fireplace. The air was frigid and, the rain pounded on the windshield. It felt so ominous. I wasn't superstitious, but I couldn't help but think if the weather was foreshadowing my future. I hurried through the doors, and instead of continuing to the children's wing, I made my way to the front desk, my high heels clicking loudly, fighting to drown out the rolling thunder. Grace, the receptionist, looked up and did a double take. "Esme? Is something wrong?" Grace was new, she was younger than I, and she had started working soon after our old receptionist volunteered for the Red Cross. Everyone that had been working here had some kind of background in medicine, but with many of them joining the Red Cross and the males being drafted, there were so many spots to fill. I had been offered a job as well, but since I was planning to get pregnant I kept my volunteer status. Besides, filing papers wasn't my thing, and I didn't want to be a maid either, I liked to be with the children.

"Esme"?

I jerked out of my reverie and smiled at her. "Oh, nothing's wrong, Grace. I have an appointment with Dr. Greyson. Umm, you could call it a check-up."

"Oh, alright," she said looking for the paper with the schedule of appointments. "Oh, Esme, Dr. Greyson isn't here today, he was feeling under the weather. There's another doctor on call today." She leaned forward and smiled girlishly. Her eyes danced and she whispered across the desk. "I've never seen him before; he's the one that does the night shift. Esme, I can't wait until you see him! He's the most handsome man I've ever seen! He told me "Hello," this morning and introduced himself, and caught me off guard. I had been looking at my papers and when I look up I see the most beautiful face I've ever seen, but he was so serious… He was perfectly polite; however there was just something about him that gave me chills. When he walked away, I realized that my mouth was open… He must have thought I was an idiot or something." I knew exactly what she meant.

"Oh, I'm sure he didn't th-"

"You just have to see him! Oh, Esme, he's just a dream!" she gushed. I giggled. Knowing Grace, he had to have something wrong with him to scare her away. She was a professional at the art of flirting and exploited her skills often on unsuspecting men. Then, I assured her that I would tell her what I thought about him after my appointment. I knew that if I told her I'd already met him, she would probably claim to be upset that I had been holding out on her. I needed to get this appointment over with. I also didn't want to have a panic attack right in front of her. I was getting anxious as I followed her to one of the examination rooms.

"You can have a seat. The doctor will be right with you, Mrs. Evenson," she said with I stood frozen beside the door to take one last deep breath to calm my nerves. "Good grief, Esme, go in" she urged. "It's not like he's going to bite you," she smirked and turned to go back to the front desk, and closed the door as soon as I was inside. I gazed out at the lightening as the wind rocked the trees violently. I tried to concentrate on the pattern of the rain to keep my thoughts from the embarrassment of possibly be examined by a man that made my head spin and my heart race. The feeling was new, and it made me very, very nervous.

"Good afternoon, Mrs. Evenson." I whipped my head around, and there he was standing in the doorway… _Where did he come from? I hadn't even heard him open the door._

"Hello, Dr. Cullen." My voice shook on the _Hello._

"What do I have the pleasure of doing for you?" I blinked. _His voice…_

"Umm, well, I... I am…" I felt the heat rise in my face; _odd. I didn't usually blush._ How do I tell him this? I know he's a doctor, but he makes me feel so uncomfortable. He looked up from the chart he had been waiting to write my answer on. His eyes softened.

"Mrs. Evenson, it's alright if you're nervous. I'm here to help you." _Oh, gosh. I am SUCH and idiot! He has to talk to me like a child…_ I inhaled deeply, and exhaled slowly.

"My husband and I are trying to conceive." _There, I said it. _He smiled softly and his eyes softened even more. They were a rich golden color… _so beautiful._

"I understand. I'll examine you and take a blood test to see if you are with child." _With child? That's a little old fashioned. _

I don't know why, but I trusted him. I could feel that he genuinely wanted to help me. He stepped out of the room for me to put on the paper gown. It was so awkward taking off all of my clothes knowing that he was on the other side of the door; he could accidentally walk in on me. I acknowledged it as a silly thought considering that he was about to perform a pelvic exam on me. Once I was dressed I waited for him on the examination table. As soon as I was settled he knocked, and asked if I was ready for him. _How did he know exactly when I was done? I wonder if he could hear me moving around on the paper cover. Of course not, the doors were thicker than that... He was probably just a good guesser._

"Well, Mrs. Evenson. I'm going to give you a quick pelvic exam so that I can check your cervix, and then I'll take the blood test. I just nodded and laid back, making sure I didn't make eye contact with him and prayed that I could keep my breathing even. He placed his hand gently on the inside of my thigh, and I jerked my hips back. _His hands were freezing!_ He mumbled an apology and explained that he had forgotten to make sure his hands were warmer. I just nodded and kept my eyes on the ceiling. He was done before I could count to ten. _That was quick._

"Hmm," he wondered aloud. "It seems as if your cervix is a little swollen. I'll take that blood test now, Mrs. Evenson." I sat up slowly; my head was spinning a bit. I could handle needles, but his voice… He rolled his stool and lifted the back of the table so that it turned into a sort of reclining chair…_ Maybe this was an old hospital bed that they refurbished._ My arms had been folded across my belly, and he gently took my right arm with his and pushed my elbow upwards with his left hand so that my arm was flexed straight out. He looked up, probably to make sure I wouldn't freak out. I was already showing out to be unbalanced. Instead of tying a string above my elbow crease, he simply wrapped the thumb and middle finger of his left hand around my arm. "Are you feeling alright? This isn't painful is it?"

"No, it's fine" I answered softly. He cleaned the area with alcohol, and it gave my skin the same cooling feeling that his fingers did. Then, he drew out a syringe, and so gently that I barely felt it, he inserted the syringe into my vein, and filled the syringe with my crimson blood. Still holding my arm in his left hand he applied pressure and gauze. Then after about six seconds he wrapped the area in fresh gauze.

"I'll get a nurse to run the test. It shouldn't take very long." He exited the room, but was back in less than a minute. "So, you seem to be a very healthy young woman, Mrs. Evenson. How long have you and your husband been trying to conceive?" He had my chart out again.

"Well, Dr. Cullen less than a month, but…" I hesitated. What was I supposed to say, that we were trying to make sure that my husband had his dying wish fulfilled? He looked at me curiously, and then his face fell.

"Pardon my curiosity, but your husband has been drafted hasn't he?"

"Yes, sir."

"I know that you haven't had any other children, have you?"

"No, sir."

"You are trying to conceive an heir." It was meant to be a question, but it came out as a statement. _How did he figure that out? Maybe it was obvious that I was desperate to find a way to make sure I was pregnant._ He looked at me with that soft expression in his eyes again. "You are being very selfless, Mrs. Evenson." _Oh, no… did he know that that was the only reason we were trying to have a baby? He was reading me like a book… _ "Mrs. Evenson, I am leaving the city tomorrow, so I won't know how everything will turn out for you. I've taken another job…" he paused and seemed to have an internal fight with himself. "I'll be working at a hospital in Ashland, Wisconsin."

"Oh," I breathed. _Why does that make me so sad?_ I felt almost depressed by his announcement.

"If the test turns out negative, then you should start taking pills of Red Raspberry Leaf. They will increase your cervical fluid to help your husband's sperm swim easier." _Oh, well that was straightforward._ I looked away nervously. Had he really just said that? Oh, right, he's a doctor. He's supposed to say that. "I would have liked to be here to help you with your pregnancy, and if you aren't pregnant yet, make sure that you are able to conceive, but I've already taken the job." He seemed stressed. _Wait, is there something wrong?_ He must have read that last thought, and quickly assured me that I was very healthy. Then he excused himself to go and see if the test was done. I got dressed, and got back on the bed-chair thing. I reclined against the back of the chair and prayed that I was pregnant. I _needed_ to be pregnant. I had barely any time left with Charles, and I wanted to be able to tell him that I was pregnant before he left so that he would be able to leave in peace knowing that his farm would be passed to his son. I had already failed my parents. I didn't want to fail him, besides, I had always wanted children.

I heard a soft knock on the door, and then Dr. Cullen stepped in. His face was grave. _Oh, no…_

**I thought of cutting it off here.**

He walked up to my side and laid the chart down by my side. He cleared his throat and took my hand. "Mrs. Evenson, it seems that you are expecting," his lips curved into a smile that reached his eyes. I'm not sure what came over me, but I threw myself into his arms. He caught me and stiffened, but then relaxed and gently squeezed me back. He smelt heavenly, but his chest was as hard as stone. He was so cold, and instantly I felt alive.

**~*IndiaIdania*~**

He released me, and gently pulled my arms away from his neck. Then he took my hands in his. As soon as I wasn't inhaling his intoxicating scent, I let realization hit and engulf me. _I'm pregnant…_ "Congratulations, Mrs. Evenson. Would you like me to give you a few nutrition and exercise pointers to help you maintain a healthy pregnancy?" _I'm going to have a baby…_ A smile slowly spread across my face. My eyes were unfocused as I let the fact wash over my brain and drown me in motherly joy. I was already in love with my unborn child. _I'm pregnant._ "Mrs. Evenson?" I looked up into his face, sometime while I was swimming in the delight of my newly discovered pregnancy, he had let go of my hands and was looking over my chart again.

"Yes?" I hadn't really heard what he asked me.

"Never mind. I'll make sure you receive a nutrition pamphlet," he said, a smile playing at the corner of his lips, but I don't think he wanted me to think that he was laughing at me.

"Alright," I sighed. My mind was nine months away, which reminded me… "Do you know when my due date is, Dr. Cullen?"

"Hmm," he smiled, "I was wondering when you'd ask that. Your due date should be around or on September 16th." _September 16__th__…_ Was it possible for your heart to melt because of a date? I just smiled back at him.

"Good," I said in a barely audible voice. I tried to keep myself composed, but I wanted to laugh and cry and sing and dance, and goodness knows what would happen if I threw myself at him again… He stood up, and helped me down from the table-bed. Placing his hand against the small of my back he led me to the door while explaining that I would need to schedule monthly check-ups to make sure that the baby and I stayed healthy. Right before we parted at the door, he looked down at me and whispered in a low voice.

"You can relax now, Mrs. Evenson. You are wound too tightly for you or your baby's health." _What?_ Then realization hit me like with a baseball bat. _I am pregnant. Charles and I don't have to try anymore._ I accidentally let out a very childish girly squeak. My cheeks reddened and I apologized. _How embarrassing… Oh, no! He knows??! Oh, please don't know_. I pleaded with his subconscious to stop reading me. "Au revoir, Madame, et bonne courage." He whispered and kissed my hand. _He knows I'm French too??? Well, of course, he does. My name is obviously French…_ I need to get over myself. I'm being paranoid. _Haha, I __**am**__ wound too tightly._

"Goodbye, Dr. Cullen. Good luck in Ashland, and thank you!" I called after him, as he strode down the hallway to visit his next patient. I walked to the counter of the front door, to tell Grace that I was going home, and I wouldn't be back until tomorrow. I must have startled her because when she looked up her eyes widened and her mouth hung open a little.

"Esme?"

"What's the matter Grace?" I asked, puzzled by her state of shock. She opened the little half door and dragged me into the filing closet.

"What happened in that room, Esme? Be honest!"

"What do you mean?"

"Oh, please Esme. I've never seen you like this. You're sort of glowing. Actually, you're absolutely radiant!" she had one eyebrow raised. I frowned. Did she honestly think that I would ever cheat on my husband? _There was the incident of flinging myself into his arms…_ I pushed the thought from my head. _Well, she isn't going to let me out of this very easily…_ I took a deep breath and said,

"I'm pregnant!!!!" Her expression changed instantaneously.

"Oh, my gosh, Esme!!" she screamed. I couldn't help, but squeal a bit myself. I had never been so happy in my entire life. "Congratulations, sweetheart! Ohmygosh! Can I throw your baby shower?" _What? I was hardly a month pregnant._

"It's too soon, but, of course you can."

"Thank you, Esme!" then she sobered. "I didn't think you could have children." _Oh… I knew the gossip went something like that. Most married women my age already had at least two children._

"Well, I'm happy to prove you wrong," I covered. I didn't want to get into any personal details. _I wonder if it was a good idea to tell Grace. Charles will probably know before I even get home. _"Well, I have to go home, and tell Charles," I used it as an excuse and fled the scene.

Once I was outside I took a deep breath of the icy air. _Everything will be fine, in fact, better than fine._ I climbed into the car and drove home; the ice storm had evolved into a beautiful snowfall. With a grin I contemplated the different ways to break the news to Charles. He would be leaving in less than a week. He needed to know. He would be so pleased. It would give him the closure he needed before he went off to war. I decided just to announce it to him at dinner.

I made a roast beef for dinner, Charles' favorite. Around dinnertime, I heard him stamping his boots outside the door to rid them of snow and ice. When he came in, he sniffed the air, and smiled appreciably. I smiled to myself. _He seems to be in a good mood already._ He removed his coat, boots, and gloves, and sat down at the table. I filled his plate for him and placed it in front of him. Then I did the same for myself and sat down in my usual spot across the table from him. After he said grace, instead of starting up the same conversation we always had, I decided to tell him, straightforwardly. "Charles," I waited. He looked up with hesitation, "Anne?"

"I'm going to have a baby."

"I know, Anne, that's why we're trying." _What?... Oh, he doesn't understand._

"No, Charles, I had a doctor's appointment today-" he cut me off.

"What's wrong? Are you sick?" _Would you please let me finish._

"No, I took a pregnancy test. I'm pregnant." I said slowly, letting it sink in. He stared at me with his fork halfway to his mouth. I smiled. I love people's reactions. Then he noticed the bandage around my right arm.

"Anne…" his face turned a slight shade of red. _He can't be angry, can he?_ Then a tear started to roll down his cheek. He caught it and embarrassed, he cleared his throat, and stood up and started pacing. _Oh, he's unwinding too._ I thought. I blushed wondering what Charles would think of me if he had seem me throw myself at Dr. Cullen today. I was pregnant. His preparations for the future of his farm were intact. His vision was set. He would have his dream. He walked to me and kissed my hand swiftly. "Thank you," he choked. Then he went and sat down to finish his supper.

After cleaning the kitchen and washing some of our clothes I climbed into bed. Charles had gone to bed almost immediately after supper. I stared at my ceiling and gently ran my hands over my flat stomach. I smiled, suddenly very weary… For once in my life, I felt perfect and beautiful. I rolled over and noticed a nutrition pamphlet sticking out of my discarded purse on the floor. _How did that get there?_ I didn't worry about it for too long because I was fast asleep right after the thought, _Dr. Cullen._

**Well, I hope you liked it! I understand that most Carlisle/Esme stories involve Esme being beaten by her husband. I hate abuse, but I'm not saying this story will be totally bruise free. Also, what, did you think Esme would really have an affair with Carlisle. Please remember Esme's personality, and besides, I absolutely LOATHE cheaters. So what would you like better? Drag out her pregnancy, or get to the Carlisle/vampire part? **

**P.S. It is so exciting when your first story is reviewed are favorited! You guys give me inspiration, and a slight buzz!**_  
_


	4. Subchapter A: The First Trimestre

**A/N: Well it's been almost a year since my last update. I can't promise quick updates. I'm hoping for once every two weeks, but don't hold your breath. Please be patient I'm planning a wedding and I'm in college. love you!**

_Recap(since it's been so long): Charles has been drafted, and he and Esme have tried to conceive a child, specifically a male.__ Esme made an appointment at the hospital to see if she is pregnant. It is a rainy day, and the usual doctor is not there, so Carlisle examines her. He confirms her pregnancy while dazzling her._**  
**

IndiaIdania

Carlisle et Esme

Morning Light

La Lumière du Matin

Subchapter A

January 18, 2011

The First Trimestre

It was the second week of my pregnancy, and the Monday before Charles would leave. I had been instructed to pack my things and anything I had collected for the baby. Charles would be taking me to the train station tomorrow. It was safer for me to stay with his brother and sister-in-law than here on the farm by myself. After Charles left for Germany, I would have no more living ties to Columbus. I was a little nervous about moving in with people I had never met, but I was more affected by the thought that I would no longer be able to visit my parents' graves. I had a single rose bush planted between their graves that I tended to at least every other day after I left the hospital. Without my attention, the rose bush most likely wouldn't make it through the winter.

Charles had become a little more verbal. He was noticeably happier in the face of his impending deployment. Instead of only commenting on my food, he would make comments on how his son would expand the farm and how good of a worker he would be. He even talked about how as soon as he returned he would come to get us and we would travel back East to visit his family and introduce our son to his father and mother. I was relieved, and happy that he had seemingly dropped the notion of him not returning from the war.

By the evening, I was finished packing my two trunks. In one, I had my clothes and a tiny white embroidered dressing gown from Grace. There were light blue birds across the top with a barely there thread zigzag stitching on the hem. It was what I planned on dressing him in right after he was born. I was only two weeks, but I was more excited about this baby than I had been for anything in my life. In the other trunk, I had a few books, the nutrition pamphlet, and various items left from my parents. There was the cookbook my mother gave me for my wedding which held my favorite dishes from my childhood and up until I was married. Wrapped in a pillowcase I had cross-stitched for my mother when I was 6, was my father's watch, which no longer ticked and he had never used, but I remembered him allowing me to play with it while I sat on his lap when I was a little girl. It wasn't even real gold, but it was precious to me. There were freshly washed baby blankets that had belonged to me that I would soon wrap my own child in tightly. However, possibly the most precious items in my trunk were the only family picture my parents and I had ever had taken, and my mother and father's wedding rings. They were safely stored in a small lock box my mother had brought with her from Le Havre.

"Anne?" Charles called from the kitchen.

"Coming." I replied from my bedroom. I walked into the kitchen and found a funny faced Charles. I had never seen this expression from Charles, so I just waited for him to say something.

"Anne," he stalled for a brief moment. "I have a present for you and the baby, but I don't want you to see them until you are settled in White River." White River was the town where Charles' brother lived.

"Ok," I whispered. I wasn't sure what to expect. He was never indulgent. For Christmas and my birthday, he would give me money to go and pick something out for myself. I understood that I shouldn't give him gifts; it would only embarrass him. So, for Christmas and his birthday I just made sure to cook something special. That was the only kind of indulgence he would accept.

I was awoken by the sound of Charles starting the car. I shot up quickly. _Oh, no! I'm late! _I glanced at the clock on my armoire. It was still early, but I needed to start getting ready. We would be leaving within two hours, and I needed to cook breakfast for Charles. It would be the last time he would have a good meal before he left. He would probably eat at the diner in town until he left for Germany. _Oh my…._ I ran to the bathroom, and didn't even have time to close the door before I started vomiting.

"Anne!" Charles stood at the bathroom door, his face ashen. "Are you alright?"

"No," I rasped.

"What do you need me to do? Is the baby all right? Should I call the doctor? Are you going to be able to travel? What can I do? Is the baby ok?" _That was the most I have ever heard him say in one day._

"The baby is probably fine. I just have morning sickness, and I think I'll still be able to travel." _As long as I don't pass out on the bathroom floor… _Charles nodded and walked away. I sat back on the floor, closed my eyes, and leaned my head back against the wall. My forehead was sweating, and my eyes and nose were running. My stomach was still uneasy, and my throat burned. Charles cleared his throat from the doorway. I opened my eyes slowly.

"Anne, I have some water for you." He stood there holding out a glass of water. I smiled faintly, but my stomach wouldn't allow me to get up just yet, and I felt weak. He must have understood, so he knelt down and passed the glass to me and produced a damp cloth. "This is for your head," his eyebrows were furrowed and he looked anxious. _How thoughtful._

"Thank you, Charles." I placed the damp cloth over my eyes and took a long drink of the water. My throat felt better, and my stomach began to ease. I pushed the cloth up out my eyes a little. He was still squatting there beside me. Concern was flooding from his face. I don't even know why, but tears started to flow, and they weren't from throwing up.

"What's wrong, now? Are you hurting?"

"I'm ok, I just… I don't know."

"Ok, well," he paused and looked around. Then it looked like he registered that we were still in the bathroom on the floor. "Do you need me to help you up? You should probably lay down or something."

"No, I'm fine. I'll just go lie down for a few minutes on the couch." I stood up and so did Charles who held the door open for me while I walked past him. I could feel my head start to spin. My knee suddenly gave out, and I began to fall backwards. I was aware of Charles catching my arms roughly.

I woke up on the couch with a little bit of a headache, but my stomach was fine. Charles was standing up in the kitchen in front of the stove. _What is he doing?_ I was vaguely aware of the hum of the gas stove. _I think I smell something burning!_ "Dang it!" Charles exclaimed and dropped a frying pan.

"Charles, are you all right?" He whirred around; I think I may have startled him.

"Anne, oh good you're awake. I've just finished scrambling some eggs for you, but I burnt mine and dropped the pan." His cheeks reddened.

"It's alright; I'll make them. I'm feeling much better."

"Ok." He then proceeded to sit down at the table and wait for me to cook his eggs. After I cooked the eggs, I took my normal spot across from him at the kitchen table. Charles said Grace as usual, and we began to eat.

"I've already finished loading up your trunks, so if there's anything else you want to bring with you, let me know because we have to leave in about fifteen minutes. You slept for an hour."

"Oh, ok," I wasn't sure I was really ready to make this move. I didn't want to stay here alone with just the farmhands, but I wasn't ready to move in with people I didn't know, even if they were related to me.

After Charles had made sure, I was safely loaded onto the train, and settled into my seat I became nervous. _What if Charles is killed in Germany? How will I support our baby?_ An attendant popped his head in to announce that the train would be departing in five minutes. Charles stood in the doorway of my cubicle and began to look at me funny.

"I will send word for you to come back to Columbus as soon as I return. If I don't, there is enough money to support you and the baby until he is old enough to take care of the farm himself. The bank assured me that I had enough to last for about seventeen years. That is, if you don't indulge the child, and you stay within a reasonable budget. I wouldn't want my boy to be spoilt."

"Yes, Charles."

"Well, I hope you have a nice ride. My brother will be waiting for you at the station in Ashland." _Ashland? That sounds familiar._

"I thought he lived in White River."

"He does, but the station is in Ashland. White Water is too small of a town for there to be a train station."

"Ok, sorry, my head is just a little fuzzy."

"All aboard!" The conductor voice rang through the train cars. Charles leaned down, and so very awkwardly kissed me on the forehead. _Why not?_ I wrapped my arms around his neck, and whispered, "Be safe."

"Take care of our baby." Then he was gone. I watched him walk off the train and stand to watch my train depart. He waved to me as the train loudly screeched and pulled away.

Charles brother was there to fetch me from the train station. His wife and little girl were with him. His name was Todd, his wife was named Priscilla, and his daughter was named Nancy. His wife was dressed in a light blue jacket, white pencil skirt, white wide brimmed hat with a light blue feather, white heels, and white gloves. She had shoulder length straight jet black hair, and red lips. She was very pretty, and her daughter looked like a mini version of her except that her shoes were flat, and she wore a white tea length coat. After giving me a good once over, she turned to her mother and whispered loudly "She's not fat. Why isn't she fat? You said she would have a baby in her tummy." I wasn't offended; she looked like she was five or six.

They lived in a light blue two-story house with two dorm windows in the front, and a beautiful white porch that from as much as I could see, wrapped around the entire house. I was later informed that there were also two dorm windows on the back side of the house. Todd had definitely done better for himself than Charles. The house was positioned on the top of a rolling hill and surrounded by gated pastures. Nancy took the initiative to sit right beside me on the car ride back to her home.

"My daddy raises horses. What does your daddy do?" she asked without any hesitation.

"My daddy is in heaven," I tried to explain gently expecting her to shy away, but she seemed unphazed and expectant and stared up at my face waiting for me to tell her what my daddy did. "He was a handy man," I replied simply. For some reason I couldn't remember exactly what he did before he lost his job and had to work odd jobs until he finally married me off. I could see Priscilla eyeing me from the front seat in the side rear view mirror.

"That's great, my daddy is that too," she smiled and took my arm in both of hers. "Will you be my friend Aunty Anne?"

"Of course, but please call me Aunt Esme. That's my real name. Anne is my middle name."

"Esme? Yes ma'am; that's pretty!"

"Thank you."

I was given one of the rooms on the second level facing the backyard right next to Nancy's room. She would often knock on my door, and "visit" me. The view from my window was very beautiful. There was a pond that had frozen over, and acres upon acres of snow covered trees and horses. I spent most of my time stitching outfits for our baby, and reading to Nancy. Priscilla assured that I could afford to buy the baby clothes from the stores in the city, but I preferred to make at least a few of them myself. Besides, Priscilla and Todd had a maid and a cook, so I wasn't needed for anything. Moreover, because I was pregnant, they wouldn't allow me to lift a finger. They were nice; Priscilla was a little distant, but she was never rude or unkind, but I thought it was a little ridiculous that I wasn't allowed to do any kind of work. Nancy went to school during the day, so there was really nothing for me to do but stitch.

After about a month an a half after Christmas, Nancy's schoolteacher eloped with her secret bow, and ran off to Europe, or at least that's what the rumors told. He was an African, so the whole town was scandalized. That day Priscilla ranted and raved about how her daughter had been under "that charity girl's" or "the hussy's" influence. She vowed never to send her daughter to a public school again, so naturally I took this opportunity to give myself something to do other than stitch - which I really wasn't good at anyway – and volunteered to teach Nancy myself. At first, Priscilla wouldn't hear of it because I was a guest, not a governess, and that they could afford a tutor until she could secure either a place at a boarding school or a governess for Nancy. At the mention of a boarding school, Nancy's face blanched, and her bottom lip began to tremble.

"I can tutor her at least for the rest of the school year. It won't be hard, and I'm aching for something to do other than stitch," I pleaded for Nancy's sake. She was only in her first year of schooling and in my opinion, too young to leave her family.

And so, I finally had something enjoyable to do besides stitch and gaze out of my window at the snow covered horse farm. Teaching Nancy wasn't much of a challenge, but I enjoyed it. Nancy was very inquisitive, and had a surprisingly good attention span for a six year old girl. I still experienced a little morning nausea, but Nancy, who was very experienced in the displeasure of tummy aches because she always had her hand in the cookie jar, would go outside and bring a cup of freshly fallen snow when I would have to lie down during our schooling sessions. Surprisingly the coldness helped tremendously. Priscilla mentioned that the morning sickness would probably go away at the end of my third month. I was about three months pregnant by this time, and I could tell that the nausea was gradually decreasing.

Now that we were in March, Todd began to get the young horses ready for auction in the April. Nancy was particularly excited about this spring because her father had promised to teach her how to ride, but on top of that, she could have one of the new colts that would be born in the spring. On March 20th, Nancy announced that today was Spring, and that her father had to teach her how to ride, and that he had to because he promised. However, after her father explained that it would be too muddy because of all the snow that had melted and that she would surely ruin her blue jacket, she halfheartedly agreed and continued to sulk for the rest of the day. The very next day, Todd left the house early in the morning on some urgent business to Ashland and said that he wouldn't be home until this evening. Since today was Saturday, I reluctantly went back to my sewing until Nancy came to show her new garden to me. Her "designated spot" of the garden was directly below my window and was about three feet long. Priscilla had cunningly positioned it between two rose of Sharon bushes so that if it didn't turn out well, the focus would be on the rose of Sharon bushes. Nancy had led me by the hand to a spot of plowed up earth.

"That's going to be a pretty garden, ma belle," I told her, though I couldn't tell where she had planted anything. She giggled.

"I haven't planted anything yet, Aunty!" _Thank goodness._ I hadn't wanted to see her face in a month when nothing had ever sprung up. "I want you to help me make my garden. Oh please, Aunty Esme!" she said clasping her little hands together.

"Of course I'll help you, Nancy! Do you have your seeds?"

"Yes, ma'am, they're right here!" She reached into her pocket and produced a little sack of seeds. "They're pink daylilies!" she said passing the tiny sack to me.

"I'm sure they'll be beautiful."

"I am so excited!" she exclaimed and clapped her hands.

"Well, let's get started." We got down on our hands and knees and I showed her how to make little holes to place the seeds in and then gently cover them up. When we finished planting all the seeds she exclaimed, "Ok, now let's watch them climb up through the dirt!"

"No, sweetheart, they're just baby flowers. We have to wait until they grow up."

Nancy sat back and pondered what I had just told her.

"Is that why it's called a flower bed?" _What does that have to do with… _She understood that I didn't understand what she was asking.

"You know, mommy says that even though I eat all my vegetables and drink all my milk that I have to go to sleep every night so that I can grow bigger because I only can grow when I'm still. And if I run around all the time my growing can't catch up with me, and I'll never be able to grow up and be a big girl, and I'll have to keep wearing the same old dresses and never get any new ones because I will still be the same size as the old ones." She paused to catch her breath. "So now the flowers have to sleep in their beds so that they can grow too and get their new petal dresses," she finished and looked up expectantly.

"Yes, I suppose so."

"Ok, I thought so," she agreed and took my hand again to go into the house so that we could clean ourselves up for supper.

We all sat around the dinner table waiting for Todd to come back from his important business in Ashland. Finally, we saw his headlights through the front windows. He seemed to be carrying a large package, so Nancy went to open the door for him. We all jumped at the sound of Nancy's scream. Priscilla ran from the table into the foyer. Nancy's arms were wrapped tightly around Todd's neck, and she planted a big kiss on his cheek.

"Oh thank you so much Daddy!" she exclaimed.

"Look, Mommy! Look, Aunty Esme! I have new leather riding boots and a riding coat and riding gloves! Look! Look! Look!"

She held up her new riding gear with a huge, beaming smile.

"I thought of waiting until your birthday in April, but since you were such a good girl for Aunty Esme and did all your lessons, I thought you shouldn't have to wait anymore," Todd explained to his bouncing daughter.

"Thank you so very much, Daddy!"

I smiled from the kitchen entryway. I couldn't wait for my baby to come.

**A/N: I hope this chapter didn't bore you to death. Since it has been so long since I started this story my muse is a little distracted. However, I didn't want to just give up on it, maybe one of you haven't forgotten about my story. lol Oh, well, please let me know what you think. Again I apologize for any mistakes.**

**~IndiaIdania**

**P.S. I plan on doing two more chapters on her pregnancy: the second and third trimestre. I don't know about you, but after a year, I am missing Carlisle.  
**


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